Post originally appeared on the Land of Kam website at 3/3/10
I dedicate this post to my grandparents. Thanks for teaching me about true love.
Kamitic/Kemetic Spirituality is real and in regards to love it is powerful. Last month, TV1 featured during Black History month some movies that made an impact on Black American culture. As I sat book and looked at some of these films I remember growing up seeing those influences and the impact it has had upon many of us today. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love some blaxploitation movies like the next man. I was fond of Shaft, (THE REAL) Foxy Brown, and I really like Black Cesar but let’s be serious, none of these movies were really Culturally relevant. Yeah, they helped us to move beyond certain issues and take pride in our physical characteristics but they also damaged us spiritually I believe in regards to true African American spirituality and relationships. One film that sort of hinted upon this was Mario Van Peebles’ Panther, where he showed a lot of women were expected to just sit back and support their man as he went to fight da man.
Now, what amazes me about people claiming to be reconstructionists or resurrectionists of the Kamitic/Kemetic Way. Is that when you look at them you find that they are not dedicated to any of the principles as it relates to health, which are virtues that were guarded by the sisters. Now, I am not casting stones but if you look at the wall art and sculptures you see that the Kamau weren’t grossly overweight people. In regards to family, men weren’t all macho-breadwinners and women just sat at home and supported their husbands. This idea that women of Kamit/Kemet were queens that were either weak, soft-spoken women or hardcore women, and men were just warriors is a total Euro-centric view based upon Euro-centric fairy tales, history and Euro-centric values. This is why there are so many women claiming to honor the lioness spirit Sekhmet, the energy/spirit of female hard-coreness (She is a dragon-lady).
True Kamitic/Kemetic Spirituality in regards to Love/Relationships was based upon the concepts and principles of Maa (Divine Law, Order, Balance and Harmony) and personified through the spirit Maat. This means true Kamitic/Kemetic Spirituality was based upon the idea and belief that everything that exists plays a part/role in a bigger whole of things. In short everything was related like a family. True Kamticism does not value one sex over another. Both chauvanism and feminism are wrong stemming from Euro-centric way of life. True Kamiticism is holistic meaning both male and female are interdependent upon each other in order to create life, peace and harmony for all because he and she is a reflection of the Divine.
I came to this conclusion on what true Kamitic/Kemetic Spirituality is especially in regards to relationship by observing how my grandfather and grandmother interacted with each other. They like most couples had their ups and downs but in the end they were able to assist me in this subject because they had been married for over 60 years, hence the proof is in the pudding. And before they passed, they still hit on each other like they were teenagers falling in love for the first time. My grandfather never hit my grandmother and instructed his sons not to do so as well because it was a sign of cowardice. He also instructed his sons never to give a woman a reason to want to hit him. At the same time, my grandmother never provoked my grandfather to hit her because she explained to my mother and aunts that it was a sign of weakness. She also told them the same thing, never give a man a reason to hit them either. Both the women and the men were taught to protect themselves but as you can see they were both given practical, insightful wisdom that dealt with inner strengths and outer weaknesses.
Did my grandparents get angry with each other? Of course, they did. Anytime you are dealing with another person there’s bound to be some disagreement. In fact, many times I remember my grandmother stubbornly walking to Sunday school because my grandfather was late to church (she couldn’t drive). At the same time, I remember this same determination of my grandmother being used to make my grandfather humble himself and do whatever she wanted. They were interesting to watch because they never sent each other a cuss. They never physically fought each other like couples do today because they respected each other and respected each others’ input to the whole. If you get what I am saying, you will see that my grandfather and grandmother were a tag team couple. They were completely different yet at the same time similar because they were interdependent upon each other. They complimented and got on each other nerves at the same time, while still loving each other for 60, I believe 75 years of marriage (they were married at age 17 and 16). The thing I learned from them, is that they never let their emotions get the best of them.
The best way I can describe how my grandparents functioned with each other is by the old hoodoo adage “whatever works” to keep the peace, harmony and love amongst each other without disrespecting the other. This was their formula for success. Yes, my grandfather was about being macho, a real man, which is why he hunted (like a lot of the older men did back in the day) for food for the family (not just for sport), he ate raw oysters and did other “manly things”. While my grandmother did “womanly things” like wore lovely dresses adorned, sweet seductive perfume with the superfly hats black women love to wear, she was a mean cook in the kitchen, but these were all part of their characters. These roles, or tasks didn’t define who they were and they sure as hell didn’t mean anything to them when it came to their family.
|Taken after 60 Years of Marriage|
I am reminded by my ancestors that you have a right and left hand, and this is what man and woman are in regards to Kamitic spirituality and love. It is all about complimentary to the whole. So, it begs me to ask this question, if your spirituality is not complimenting your physical well being, or your relationship isn’t prospering like it should that maybe it is based upon the Greek-Roman-Egyptian invading culture that came after most of the Africans of Kamit left.